This piece was originally in Nuts Magazine 

It’s not often that you get the opportunity to train with top rugby stars, especially when you’re massive wusses like us. Even so, former England international and BT Sport pundit, offered to take us along to London Wasps on one of BT Sport’s pre-season “scouting trips”, and have us put through our paces, ahead of Saturday’s Aviva Premiership Rugby season-opener at Twickenham. So we selected our puniest man for the job and sent him to get clattered by the big fellas.


One of the boys!

Here’s Nuts Man with his new team-mates. Oddly, no contract has been forthcoming at the time of writing, although there are tentative plans in place to have him constantly on hand in case they ever run out of balls.


The scrum machine!

Nngghh! Throwing all your weight (even if there’s not much of it) into the scum machine, between two 18-stone forwards, was enough to turn Nuts Man the colour of a beetroot through the effort of pushing non-stop.


Learning the moves!

Nuts Man practices a move they call the “pretzel”. After fetching the ball from the Ruck, Nuts Man was slung by the neck, head over heels, and then had 36 more stone of hefty players jump on him after the ball. Scary!


In the line-out!

This is probably the easiest line-out lift the Wasps boys will have all year (and maybe next year). If they’d let go, Nuts Man would’ve ended up landing in the field next door. Note the ghastly white pallor of his legs.


Tough in the tackle!

After being dumped on his head and squashed between men twice his size, it was time for tackling practice for our chap. “It feels a bit like being run into by a quad bike at 25mph, I’d imagine,” was little Nuts Man’s summary.


Not so tough in the tackle!

After being left battered and bruised by six professional rugby players, it was time for Nuts Man to get his revenge. A hard rugby tackle often exerts about 13 G-force on the parties involved – we’d imagine this was rather less.

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